I. Marvelous Blarney There once was a man from Killarney Who looked like a lumpy Art Carney. His cup, though, was brimmin' With beautiful women Because he spoke marvelous blarney. II. Dirty Girl There once was a horny young druid Who watched as a woman bathed nuid. She got out the tub, And she gave him a rub, And he slimed her with seminal fluid.