Two Limericks

I. Marvelous Blarney
There once was a man from Killarney
Who looked like a lumpy Art Carney.
   His cup, though, was brimmin'
   With beautiful women
Because he spoke marvelous blarney.

II. Dirty Girl
There once was a horny young druid
Who watched as a woman bathed nuid.
   She got out the tub,
   And she gave him a rub,
And he slimed her with seminal fluid.  

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Three Limericks

I. Lots of Luck
There once was an old Irish rover
Discovered a bright four-leaf clover.
   He reached down to pluck it
   And then kicked the bucket:
He bent down and died bending over.

II. Fairy Folk
A bonny young lassie named Mary
Fell hard for a laddie from Derry
   Who never would try her,
   But only passed by her,
A fairy in search of a fairy.

III. Boogers the Best
There once was a man from Racine
With boogers the best ever seen:
   He'd pick one and lick it,
   Then roll it and flick it
Till all of his fingers were green.

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